Peace Love and Gratiturkey

Whoa, and just like that it's October!!

I am always floored at how quickly Thanksgiving rolls around. With pumpkins and stuffing and turkeys (or tofurkeys,) upon us, like most, I find myself reflecting on what has transpired during the last year, what I will be giving thanks for, and then some...I am then equally amazed at how long ago everything seems, the full year(s) in rewind... summer already seems ages past, last Christmas like eons away...

I consider what I have accomplished and have yet to accomplish, if I have been a good person, if I have worked hard enough, lived fully enough, and then I envision the way I would like to see the next few months, year, years unfold...

This year, I have more to be grateful for than ever. That is not to say that other years have been slim pickings, but it's true what they say, and my son is the apple of my eye, the light of my life, and trumps every year before now. I am so so so thankful that he is here; after almost losing hope I would ever be a mother; that he is healthy and beautiful and strong and just the purest of joys; that his daddy is here too, that we love each other more deeply than I knew possible, and that I have every minute with my son, as he grows literally before my eyes, absorbing (and drooling on) everything around him. 

Lennon (photo taken by Amazing Ash, see links)

It is the most amazing thing, this thing we call life...
And as I explore it some more from the perspective of a 5 month old, still wrapping my head around it all and how this little angel was ever even created, I give thanks to God. I have gone astray more than once, but have since found my faith, since I can see no other explanation for this miracle before me.

Although with every new day there are new fears and struggles, challenges, stresses, disappointments and losses, every new day is also a new blessing, a new chance, a new light! 

We are all so lucky to be alive, yes?! 

Poor turkeys. 

Gobble gobble.

Peace

Love 

Gratitude

JKForfait

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! May the Dragon Be with You!

Wishing you all only the best for a safe, healthy, prosperous, exciting new year. May it be full of challenges you thrive from, dreams that come true, and blessed successes. 

Thank you for your continued support! Even as I continue to lag and fall behind in posts... And no, I still haven't finished my first manuscript, or gotten any further as an established, published writer. But I refuse to give up or allow myself to stop believing in my dream or my passions... however long it takes.          "If you believe, and can conceive, you can achieve."


As I move into this new year, about to see my life forever changed with my son's arrival soon approaching (!!!!), I reflect on the year(s) past and feel stronger and more grateful than ever. My life has surely not been without heartache, loss, and struggles. I have been kicked down more than I can count. I have been let down more than I can count. I have been surprised by unplanned turn of events more than I can count. I have been bullied, broke and broken. I have been alone and afraid. I have even battled with health, weight, money, with serious, different types of abuse and addictions. I too, the eternal optimist, have been depressed, discouraged, derailed. 


But I am still here. Still living and still going. One day at a time. I get lost and have trouble finding my way, just as much as the next guy, but I still believe that I can live my best life and be my most authentic self. 


This is all I wish for you as well. Life is not perfect, nor are our relationships, or our working conditions, or our financial circumstances, etc. But giving up and succumbing to negative, depressing thoughts and attitudes has never helped anyone. Moving into this new year, remember to count your blessings, as often as possible. You will notice the more you do, the more you find there are to count. 

"According to the Chinese Zodiac, the Year of 2012 is the Year of the Dragon, which begins on January 23, 2012 and ends on February 9, 2013.  The Dragon is the fifth sign of the Chinese Zodiac, which consists of 12 Animal signs.  The Dragon is a creature of myth and legend.  In ancient China, the celestial Dragon represents an emperor and  power. Today, it  is the ultimate auspicious symbol signifying success and happiness.   May the celestial Dragon bring great good luck to everyone"

May the luck, power & strength of the Dragon be with you in 2012. Whether you believe in Chinese Astrology or not, let yourself be inspired by this mythical, magical creature and dream big! Rome wasn't built in a day! Things worth having are worth fighting for...and they usually don't happen overnight. But in a whole year, who knows what could be?


Peace, Love, Gratitude
JKForfait

9 Drafts, 2 Towns & a Million Boxes Later...

Here I am. Finalement! This is the FIRST ENTIRE DAY in weeks (!!!) - literally - that I have had to myself, to buy pads and deodorant, to wipe my tears, to pluck my eyebrows, to  think, to plan, to write, and to hopefully make it from draft to post...

I don't know about the rest of you, but this summer has been a blur. I cannot believe it is the 15th of August already. Between packing and unpacking, re-packing, packing again, cleaning, storing, celebrating, sleeping, packing and unpacking some more, painting, cooking, organizing, re-organizing, organizing again - the weeks have gone by so quickly that I actually wish it had all been filmed on a reality TV show (it could be The Northumberland Hills," or "The Cobourg Shore," lol) so that I could now watch it back and actually take in the last 2 months.

I have said before that moving is one of the top most stressful things in life, but I don't think even I knew what that meant. Since meeting my husband, this was the 8th time we have moved in 8 years, from Mexico where we met, to France where he's from, to Canada where we have been hopping, skipping and jumping all over...to land, atlast, here in this "feel good town" of Cobourg. I think I can finally say I am home sweet home, and mean it. Dorothy was right, there is no place like it.

A dream come true, really. I have imagined living here, near its glorious beach and surf side main street, with its smiling faces and friendly neighbours, since I was a little girl. I feel every bit that I am where I belong.



Me, Victoria Beach, 1977


That in no way means that it has been an easy move or transition. The stress, tension, exhaustion have taken hard knocks on me and even my marriage, so much that I wondered this morning if I had indeed stepped into my dreams like I believed, or if I had instead taken a million steps backwards rather than forwards by mistake...

But these insecure doubts come to mind only due to a fragile heart. A fragile heart due only to the above stress and tolls mentionned. A long, heavy build up of challenges which my husband and I continue to plow thru, and which sometimes leaves my heart wounded in our wake.

When our hearts hurt, everything else is a little darker too.
I know that by tomorrow, when the rains dries and the clouds clear, when the sun shines its bright head again, that the doubts and tears will dry up too.

Our dreams (marriages?) are not supposed to be easy to attain and hang onto, they require hard work and dedication and persistence and patience and love and forgiveness. But so often our dreams (marriages?) are crushed, devastated, let go simply because it is easier and faster to give up.

Well not me. I will fight on for my dreams and my marriage and everything I believe in.

This experience has opened my eyes further and made me take account all of the things I have gained and lost during the last decade; it has made me see how I have evolved, and how, in some ways, I have digressed. It has shown me that there is no "post" button on my life or my dreams or my marriage, to put it out there and call it "complete" - it is forever a "draft" in progress, with a whole lot of editing yet!

For now, I will keep breathing, deeply, closing my eyes when I can, and smelling the near-water-fresh air as much as possible. I will look thru binoculars and explore and learn more about birds and flowers. I will ride my bike and walk my dog. I will turn off the self-destructive broken record in my head, a.k.a. Guilt, that gives me crap all the time for not writing, writing, writing, (and various other things) since I will write and keep writing all of my life...and I will enjoy what is left of this most wonderful season of the year, in my new home sweet home, near the beach sweet beach, you know just feelin' good as best I can...

I hope you will too...enjoy the rest of the summer... breathe...take it in...

Peace ~ Love  ~ Gratitude

Belly Flop

So starting anew ain't that easy. Could swear I have heard that somewhere before...


I have been fumbling around now for weeks, from one blog site to another, stuck on layouts and colours, names and themes, when all I really want to be doing is writing and posting and inspiring, not wasting time on aesthetics. Without a "project" per se, I have been lost, unfocused.

But we do that, don't we? When we're nervous or afraid, or feeling stuck, frozen, unsure, we procrastinate and tip toe closer, when sometimes we would be better off just diving in already! Like at the lake, looking down at the cold dark water from up high above on the bridge where the jump itself (the first step) is the most frightening thing. But once you go, even if you belly flop, smacking hard and sharp on the frigid water world below, it turns out it wasn't so scary after all. One might say it was exhilarating even.

Our own fears are so often so much worse than whatever is really at hand. So this here is my belly flop, finally I am jumping in. No more dragging my feet. Doesn't matter if it hurts a little, once you're all wet, the water isn't that cold and the fun is just about to begin...

PLG ~ JKF